Born 30 something years ago into a card-playing clan in the North of England: the low-roller's poker odyssey has taken him from the school common-room via down-trodden Midlands' casinos, smoky Cotswolds pubs, celebrity Soho drinking spots and of course the ubiquitous world of cyberspace to the home of poker itself, Las Vegas. Join his search for juicy take-downs, great pot odds and the occasional back-door straight as he goes for glory.
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Thursday, September 24, 2009
80% of it is just showing up.
Where did I show up today? It began early, it often does - the welcome arrival of Sonya into my home, RV-land, the Winnebago Warrior, parked outside the twin palms of 1916 Salem Street. We"d slept apart as she"s been needing to sleep on her back, undisturbed. Its been a few nights now and as I write there is the possibility of some dessert after our sumptuous feast, the midnight variety, buffalo burgers, pecorino and avocado, all washed down with a Californian Pinot.
Still half asleep, with a dead cat in my mouth, seemingly, I stumbled into the fridge, dowsed the pussy in orange juice and started the Beemer, heading to breakfast at Bustolinis. A quick visit up the one-way street wrong way round and we were busting moves with soya mocha triple chai twist cappucino. Bob the owner informed us we were looking cute online where the Prom-party photos lived - I informed Bob that his complicated drinks rocked, his cafe too. Nearly awake now, we headed the right way down the one-way and onto the Chiropractor, Alan "Quick" Silver, to see if he could work some magic on Sonya"s resident pain.
After the formalities were done, and Sonya explained that she"d brought an Englishman to observe his skill in muscle testing, he began the session, starting in the shoulder area. It didn"t take him long to live up to his name, working his way down to her oh-so-cute gluteus maximus. It makes it easier to manipulate I guess if you give it a Latin name, even in front of her moderately-impressed handler. Before long the pervy-practor was humping that ass, all in the name of therapy. The shame of it truly - I guess that"s why he wears the shirt with the overhang...."and for this one I have to bring my hip right up and over and, and, and...." he shuddered and grunted and the moment was done. Another bone rightfully placed - the Chiroprictor was quicker than silver and doubly deadly. He could seduce a virgin beneath the gaze of her mother and all her sisters and still come up smelling of roses. Dollars were exchanged, phone numbers weren"t and we retreated, licking our wounds, mine mostly financial with a mere hint of what-the-fuck-pervy-dude, Sonya more philosophical, still shooting some pain and unconvinced of the virtue of muscle testing - easily influenced by suggestion apparently, like the virgin, mother or not.
Thirteen hours later, a lot of tapping and some pertinent questions and we have both got to the gluteus maximus of our issues. Sonya"s pain has faded considerably and I remembered back to my first credit card, a debt of $200 or so and a summer of discontent. Well two weeks anyway - I"d been "got" a job, pretty shitty, manual labour, shovelling sludge and painting, in between reading "The Sun" while hiding in the shitter. Most of the way through my "hard labour" we had a poker night back home, always a family affair usually with a couple of imported suckers to sweeten the pot. I ended up down in money but up all night, a bad combination with a 9-hour shift of drudge and sludge awaiting. One hand in particular stuck out for me, as usual the ones remembered are the ones we lose. We were playing a vicious game, 3-card Bragg (where playing a blind hand allows you to play at half the price) with a wild card or four and I had the second best possible hand (trip aces I think) and was raising and re-raising my dad, Peter, who was calmly doing the same....He had the nuts of course, three threes and did after a while have the good grace to call the raising game to an end, "you can"t win son..." So here"s a template for my future...all-night poker sessions, issues with Dad, struggling to pay off the credit card. Good to have nailed it, now to tap it, change it and evolve into abundance.
9:17 AM | Permalink 