Born 30 something years ago into a card-playing clan in the North of England: the low-roller's poker odyssey has taken him from the school common-room via down-trodden Midlands' casinos, smoky Cotswolds pubs, celebrity Soho drinking spots and of course the ubiquitous world of cyberspace to the home of poker itself, Las Vegas. Join his search for juicy take-downs, great pot odds and the occasional back-door straight as he goes for glory.
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Friday, July 11, 2008
Still doing Good Business
The poker session continues and the sun still shines somewhere outside and sometimes the moon too. I make occasional excursions outside to smoke and savour, before returning to raise and fold. Bobby and I have just concluded a 150 person rebuy tournament. We went into the final table in first and second position, and eventually finished third and second, my Ace-10 of hearts being outdrawn by KQ of diamonds when he hit runner-runner for his flush. Occasionally a shout from the other room - "he's yours Bobby, take him down", and Bobby duly did. Three seems to be the magic number - Mike get over here, I know you're reading this - I made the final table of a 6-handed multi last night (I had contributed a good portion of the $3 rebuys in a vain attempt to build chips early), reshoving Captain Aggression with King-Jack suited only to walk into his pocket Queens, busting out third after some Lazarus-like revivals, while pedalling my customary short-stack. I want a big stack please.
So we're back in the zone again and the day is young, although I'm no longer creaming the super-turbos, rather the opposite in fact - shafted by 'poker-donks' or maybe 'bots' with strange betting tendencies, programmed by nerds in some dark corner of Northern Europe to play the poker-screens while Klaus enjoys his sauna with Inga. No stereotypes here.
The poker robots are becoming increasingly prevalent and profitable. Bots were discovered milking the cash games on Full Tilt, one of the only two sites available to US players, thanks to big bad Bush, seems not give a damn as 24-hour robots mean 24-hour rake and more 'players'. Barack Obama loves his poker - whereas McCain has been known to love a 14-hour craps session, so the legislation may be reversed: it was after all sneaked in at the back of another bill that had already been approved, 'piggybacking' as it is known - this is why the Main Event numbers have declined since the peak of 2006 when almost 9,000 runners contributed to Jamie Gold's $12 million legal dispute. Come November, America will be a different world and poker will be on many people's minds with the circus returning to town for the WSOP final table. Who would you rather have in the Oval office, a geriatric foul-tempered crap addict or the guy who knows his way round a full house via the back-door flush. It's a no-brainer - old crappy crinkly guy or unite the nation weaver-boy? So America may get more choice than 'PokerStars' - great but not available on a Mac or the other option, Full-Tilt, where bots swarm, and data-miners track your every inclination. Yes I'm fed up with Tilt - spent a few hours earlier playing against lucky bots/donks.
It is a murky world - don't go there unless well-equipped, and the hands are ridculous - set-ups, stitch-ups and bad-beats. Anyone who says that online games aren't juiced up needs to come down to my poker-den for some improper education. Late/early last night I flop a set of 6s (three-of-a kind to the uninitiated) on a board of A-10-6. I get all-in with two others, both of whom have A-10, and without even a blink up pops the 'case' ten to nail my ass.... Pocket Aces every five minutes, usually in conflict with at least two other pairs, all flopping sets. More royal flushes than fingers with nut-flush draws, overpairs and more back-door options than the pet-shop boys' greatest hits. Online poker is like TV poker, they edit out the boring bits and every one goes broke, the bad players get lucky and all for one reason.....money. They sit on billions of our hard-gambled cash reaping the interest on top of the rapid-fire rake and they can't even mange customer support. Having said that Day one of the Main Event saw a flop of A-K-Q all clubs. The pre-flop raiser bets his trip Aces, which is then raised the minimum. The turn brings the fourth Ace, and all the money goes in to reveal J-10 of Clubs for the Royal Flush, busting out Quad Aces. So rigged or not rigged - who knows?
Evil Dennis is back from myriad misdemeanours, looking for more and liking the change of pace here in LA but is already hankering for bright lights and magnificent breasts.......although The Donkeyhouse, an underground poker den run by Thais with far too much gamble in their blood beckons.
So I'm in a knockout tourney - just taken my first scalp - a $2 bounty and Bobby's doing the six-table rebuy option, just seen a Royal Flush in spades, I've had the same once in a live game at "the Fox" which curiously led to me being backed by Nick and Rupert. I will be back next year to do justice to your investment. I'd like to come back for November and write it up for the poker-starved and maybe a wider audience too. What with a new president and the WSOP final, I think November here in the great-again USofA will be worth writing for.
...... fuck, fuck , fuck ....just fell victim to the curse of the pocket Jacks. I raised the limper, who'd just restolen our steal, and then the button raises just over half our stack. All I need to do is flat-call, see the flop of 7-2-2 and shove it right up his Yankee butt and he has to donk or fold his Ace-King. As it was I pushed pre-flop and the ever-present Ace on the river nailed my butt instead. You know what Evil has to say about this - yes me, a fucking loser. I need to get into playing more flops, trusting my instinct more and listening to the voices out there and that little voice in here. Rather like the pyramid of power, my 4-sided jasper pyramid that I place on top of my chips. Whenever I went to make an ill-fated raise it would slip somehow. I heard the message, "don't do it" yet couldn't stop myself and went ahead anyway. Does anyone know a cure for this? Answer's on a postcard to one the poker suites of BobbyTransville. AAARRGGHHH.
10:19 PM | Permalink 
Rich | July 12, 2008 7:42 AM
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