Born 30 something years ago into a card-playing clan in the North of England: the low-roller's poker odyssey has taken him from the school common-room via down-trodden Midlands' casinos, smoky Cotswolds pubs, celebrity Soho drinking spots and of course the ubiquitous world of cyberspace to the home of poker itself, Las Vegas. Join his search for juicy take-downs, great pot odds and the occasional back-door straight as he goes for glory.
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Saturday, July 19, 2008
Homeward Bound
What a joy to be back in this country of ours. I was done with America, its appalling media and its prozac-happy falseness. I can now turn on the radio without moronic commercialised blandness fucking my head-space, turn on the tv and not find bloody baseball. Everywhere in America, for me particularly noticeable in the poker rooms, there is this background of bollocks tv. Last year while playing the main event I nearly puked over seat 10 as the hot-dog eating championships aired to the unsuspecting. This year it took place in Vegas a week or so ago and some metabolic freak broke the world-record. In twelve minutes he managed to stuff in 66 dogs, that's one every eleven seconds - these people need to be arrested and stopped, in the name of public decency. They will pay with their lives in the long run of course, a simple failure to acknowledge that your body amounts to what you put in. Enough of them anyway - Bobby was good to me, putting me up beyond my expected stay. No thanks to manyana Mike - too long working in the marijuana dispensary I suspect. It is now legal in much of California, all that is needed is a doctor's note and some rizla.....
So here I am quietly clicking away in the background, still on Full Tilt, plying my two accounts (mine and my 'mum's', which affords me four-figure rakeback every month) playing some freeroll with a chance (eventually) to play Phil Ivey and Gus Hansen for a million quid. There is only one prize at this stage, $500 and a seat, so I am waiting for No-Limit-Shiva and Shivalingus to be moved to the same table, so they can get fruity. In the meantime I have had two nights back in Yorkshire and have been playing the tightest Omaha, six tables at a time, turning a tidy but very necessary profit. Daytime has seen me behind the wheel of the treadle machine, cutting jigsaw puzzles in between watching some weather-beaten golfers and searching for some unlikely hope in Headingley. I am lucky to have a thousand quid of jigsaws to cut and nearly the same back in the bank from some judicious omaha decisions. Max, my son arrives at midnight on Monday, Zeb my brother on Wednesday for his annual party and I am enjoying my first cigarette of the day - you can beat post-prandial. The night-shift has begun and my nut flush is being nailed by the straight flush, my full house by quads - bent poker on full tilt seems to be my karma right now. I'm still in the freeroll with both 'Shivas' - just limped with AK to flop quads and get paid off by some muppet with jack high. My poker is way better than before but will this translate into reddies? Watch this space.
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Dees
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This is Heidi. We met on top of Cathedral Rock in Sedona, AZ. I was hiking with my brother and friends. Sorry to hear the Vegas tournament didn't go your way. But at least you got to experience some of the beautiful parts of the US, AKA: Arizona. Next time you come to the states, you should check out a very earthy, laid back, kind and conscious place...Asheville, North Carolina. It's just as amazing as Sedona, but on the East Coast. Anyway, I have photos to send you from that hike. I know you'l like the one of you on top of that crazy rock! If you want them, I need to email them to a real email address. So you can email me back at naturegal2004@hotmail.com. Have a great day!
Peace and Love,
Heidi