Born 30 something years ago into a card-playing clan in the North of England: the low-roller's poker odyssey has taken him from the school common-room via down-trodden Midlands' casinos, smoky Cotswolds pubs, celebrity Soho drinking spots and of course the ubiquitous world of cyberspace to the home of poker itself, Las Vegas. Join his search for juicy take-downs, great pot odds and the occasional back-door straight as he goes for glory.
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Sunday, July 08, 2007
The Beard
Okay I've done the bath and am still no closer to sleep, with the first rays emerging on Sunday morning in Vegas. In fact I am on about four baths/showers a day in a desperate attempt to soften this bristling mess on my face, which is in that prickly phase. A few years back I was playing bridge in the American Nationals in Phoenix Arizona when I spotted one of the wrongest things across a monstrously large hall of bridge players. An elderly couple were playing a pair of little old ladies (the average age of bridge players in the US is 57) - and the husband who was dummy, so was no longer playing a part in the play of the cards (all four are involved in the auction, but only three are involved in the play) was merrily strimming his nose with an electric nasal hair-trimmer in front of the old dears who were carrying on like this was normal behaviour. Rather like another revolting habit I have noticed over here: talking loudly on the cellphone while having a dump. Just don't do it. Anyway the point is once you get to 37 the hair up there needs to be dealt with or your friends start cringing when they come too close, and yes you can yank them while you drive on the motorway, which makes you sneeze uncontrollably, your eyes water and you can't stop and it's very painful, but really the machine is the way forward, so spotting one in the gadget shop in The Fashion Show Mall I succumbed with a chuckle as I remembered the monster from Phoenix. Anyway it has just saved me as I have trimmed the prickly bits off the moustache, which is to answer your question Rich - it is a beard with real hair and it has a purpose apart from saving me three minutes a day shaving. The plan is to keep it until I have made it to the Final Table and then I re-emerge, suited and booted, ready for the cameras, looking suave and handsome, rather than like some bearded hippy fuck. No-one will know who I am, and I may even dispense with the shades as I ruthlessly remove their chips from under their noses, with the poker equivalent of a nasal strimmer. So I hope I have answered your question Rich about the state of my facial hair (once Dees shows me how to put photos up I can give you the visual too) .....and by the way, Rich who are you? Are you the one who likes a bit of fisticuffs in between pots or the calling station? I hope you don't mind me taking the piss, but America and Vegas in particular has that effect what with people the size of small caravans and Menopause: The Musical (slightly obsessed by that - I may have to go and watch it and report back in the name of research.
I am slightly deranged currently - luckily I now have a kettle (ten bucks from Walgreens) and I'm not afraid to use it: herbal teas are disappearing like a junkie with a deadline in a desperate attempt to calm me down. So on that note I bid you goodnight. Keep the comments coming - thank you Matt for your words - you should be here, reraising these Yankee-doodles, but I understand the word commitment. I have one or two myself. I am currently blowing their Christmas presents on unnecessary plastic objects and gambling next month's rent on bad beats and a chuckle.....
1:10 PM | Permalink
The red raw fac emight not look great on the final table cameras but if you make it that far im sure you can get the best Barbour in Vegas to shave it for you :)
GL Si, forget day 2 just think how to play day 3.
Amanda. xx
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http://voyporustedes.blogspot.com
Half a picture actually, but it should be enough for you to go on. Congratulations on making day two by the way.